you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
