My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
