May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
