That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
