ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
