I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
