once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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