Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Found your dick twin last night
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
