Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My vagina just clenched in fear
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
