I love black thongs
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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