So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
