physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize