I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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