Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Boobs speak an international language.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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