I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
