you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
