All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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