The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
