youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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