I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
