I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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