You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
