The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
