Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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