i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
