It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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