He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize