another moral hangover. fuck.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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