sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
