So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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