you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You left your underwear on the fireplace
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
