I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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