I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
