I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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