yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
