I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize