Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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