Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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