The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
i need some magic done to my vagina
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
