people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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