I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
