We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
