That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
