you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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