after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
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