Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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