oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
