I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
