remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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