I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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