well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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