Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Houston, we have a blender
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
