And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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