i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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