I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
