So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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