Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
