toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize