My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
