I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
