We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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