She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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