I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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