i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
