hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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